Dear band that cancelled a festival,
How do I feel? Well, a little mad! Mmh, maybe not mad, exactly, at least not at you personally – unless you were doing a rain dance, that, if you did, was probably meant to support fighting the wildfires on the West Coast, so yeah, not mad. Disappointed, I guess – but it goes deeper than that.
The festival was the reason I came to the US. I bought my ticket before I ever even looked at flights. Now how am I gonna get up North for my return flight? (With my luggage that is packed for international weight restrictions and not national ones). You see, the end stretch of my trip was all so well planned out. Go up from Baltimore with my girls, dance, fest, hitch a (pre-planned) ride to Rochester, Amtrak to see my brother-from-another- mother Tony, and then fly out of Boston. Perfect! Now, none of this is happening, except I have to make it to my flight out of Boston on Tuesday. Me and my international luggage. Yes, yes, a solvable problem, I know.
Then when I let friends and family know of my change of plans yesterday – clearly, I wanted sympathy – I felt judged. Condescending remarks such as: “What, you planned your departure out of Boston around a festival?” – “Mmh, yes sir, sure did!” If he only knew I would not have come to the US this summer at all if it hadn’t been for Curveball…
That got me wondering, is that not what people do? Plan trips around events, I mean? Is it my age? Should a woman, possibly nearly 40, living in Europe not hop on a plane to cross the Atlantic to see her favorite band create an event with and for thousands of their fans? How is traveling to see music any different from planning a trip around going hiking or skiing? Or go to a sporting event? Is a music festival (that includes camping) different? Is that something you’re supposed to grow out of? Silliness, I say! I feel sorry for those people who believe that.
Maybe it’s also not disappointment that I am feeling. This whole trip has been amazing! There was extraordinary music – George, Janelle, Rebirth, Phish (somewhere else!); delicious food – all the things I miss in Europe and more; serious bonding time with family and new memories with the most amazing friends anyone could ask for.
Feelings are so confusing sometimes! Maybe it’s my inflexibility with sudden changes – showing my age again!?! Where did spontaneous me go? Maybe it’s having expectations, I really am working on not having those, they always disappoint.
Ask me again in a week, or better a month. Then I will most likely just remember all the other parts, the amazing parts of this trip. Then I will feel happy, real joy!!
Give it time,
Hanna